Gagapoo

Lady Gaga, or should I say STEFANI GERMANOTTA. I know all about you. I know where you went to school, I know all about your drug problems. I know about your tendency to talk about your love for sex, everywhere you go. I know about how much you love the Muppets. I'm also fully aware that you think what you do is art. I know all these things because you talked about them all in interviews around the world (except for the need to mention sex thing, I figured that one out all on my own). What you failed to mention, however, is your admiration for Project Runway designer Chris March, the one who made his entire collection out of safety pins and human hair. I know what you're thinking: who told you?! But what you need to know, Stefani, is that I figured it out on my own (just like your sex addiction word vomit problem. I think maybe I'll take up detectiving from now on, I feel like I've got a gift.)

Lady GaGa. Stefani. Perez Hilton's Bitch. Whatever your name is, you need to know that this outfit is not okay. It's probably the reason that Chris March did not win Project Runway. It's also probably the reason why he doesn't have much friends, and has resorted to dressing drag queens.

So please, please, take it from me. If you really want to shock people and get a reaction out of them that could maybe make them question if the earth really is round, and if Heidi and Spencer really are the fame-whoring couple they seem to be, wear something normal. Something boring. Maybe even something pretty (Was that taking it too far? I'm sorry, I should have stuck with simple baby steps. Let's just focus on putting some pants on, and losing all the crazy and maybe toning down the Liza Minnelli from your outfits)

Anyway, thanks for your time.

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood spiderwoman. (but you can just think of me as a concerned citizen)